When you’re going through something, the instant reaction will be to find a support group who will love and cradle you and maybe even tell you what to do. As I went through my stages of grief, I found that the only way for me to heal sustainably is to find happiness in myself, and to find peace and calm within me alone.

For the first month after a significantly bad experience happened, I was in denial. I had a very objective and unbiased support group who understood both sides of the story, I had a family that accepted me despite every single thing I told them, and I had a pretty good spiritual foundation. How is it that I’m still not reaching my desired goals in healing?

It’s because I’ve relied so much on the people around me that I was not able to focus on my own inner peace. It’s because all thoughts that passed by my head, I immediately blocked by distracting myself. I did not honor my thoughts. So when they all dawned on me one morning, I just cried and loathed myself the whole day.

I was running out of options. My only solace were my friends, and they can’t be physically there all the time I cry. I didn’t want my hate to consume me or drive me to do hurtful things anymore. I had no one but myself. Thankfully, while googling how to forget or “un-love”, I discovered meditation. For 10 minutes in silence, I was able to practice to be at ease with painful memories and scenes from traumatic experiences. In those 10 minutes, there was no hurt and no hate. The peace after the session didn’t last very long, but I was so inspired to move through life knowing that despite all these, I was still able to find tranquility and I was able to move through love and compassion.

If you’re going through something or you just want to destress for a while, here are some of my favorite meditation apps and videos that will surely help you out:

App: Headspace (Free)

Headspace is my go-to guided meditation app. It’s beginner-friendly meditation so you know exactly what to do during a session. It’s not how to control your thoughts, it’s how to be at ease with their flow. I love Headspace because the voice is so calming and they even have videos to visually guide you throughout the process.

Video: Yoga With Adriene

While my friends were doing contact sports to release their anger, I personally prefer doing yoga since my raging Aries personality doesn’t really have a forgiving angry mode. This meditation by Yoga With Adriene was the first meditation session I ever did. I was so overwhelmed with the sense of peace and compassion I felt that I thought, “Yeah, yoga and meditation are definitely for me.” Adriene talks you through the whole process and visualizes your breathing so whenever you’re distracted, you can easily come back.

App: Stop, Breathe & Think

Stop, Breathe, & Think was the app I downloaded for offline meditation. It surveys your current mood and suggests 2-3 meditation sessions that you can access anytime and anywhere. The only downside to this is that I really didn’t like the voice of the guides because I found that they were too robotic. Although that was the case, it still wasn’t enough to distract me from a good 5-10 minute meditation.

Website/Soundcloud: mindful

Mindful is a great resource for thought pieces on how people overcome certain speed bumps in life. Reading about how people heal through love was very inspiring for me, knowing that the situation I was in involved a lot of hatred and self-loathing. This website features a lot of great reads on how to overpower hate with love and all the times of darkness with light.

The more we can meet any difficulty with presence, compassion, and kindness, the easier we can move through it. It requires that we learn to stay by turning toward the difficulty versus pushing away. – Carley Hauck, mindful

But before anything, it’s also very helpful to acknowledge your strong emotion. Acknowledge that you’re hating, or that you’re overcome by so much fear, before you deal with these emotions. And no, meditating won’t send you flying. It will just give you that sense of lightness and tranquility you’ve needed all this time.



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